From Miracles to Motherhood

Mommies are us

2009-10-07T07:19:00.000-07:00

Wow. So it's been a good five months since I've updated. I promise it wont be that long again... So much has happened! Obviously, I had my beautiful baby girl whom I named Olivia Paige Emofern Ryan. Wanna know the details? Read on! I mentioned before, that I wanted an all natural delivery and... I did it!

So here is the story... On august 3rd I fell down some steps and messed up my foot pretty badly. I went to the emergency room to have it checked out and they did an xray but my foot was too swollen to see if it was broken. So, I treated it as a break. since I'm a server, and am on my feet all day I had to take a leave from work way before I wanted to at 36 weeks. So, for the whole month of August I was sitting at home miserable and wanted to get things going! On the 28th I went to my monthly bunco and moved a multi purpose table on my own because I was the youngest one there and I didn't think they were too heavy. Well, that night I went home and had some bleeding so I went to the hospital and they said it was probably the start of labor. So, after walking around for over an hour, I hadn't progressed at all and went home. The next morning I had an appointment with my midwife, whom I hadn't seen since July(Since I had to go to the clinic they switched up) and she was looking at my chart and was flabbergasted that I hadn't been induced already because of my borderline preeclampsia. So she sent me on my way and told me to go and eat as much as possible because I was going to the hospital to be induced.
After having some wonderful Mexican food and the long hot shower, my mom, aunt and myself headed over to the hospital to wait for the baby! We walked into my room and I looked around and saw that there was NO tub for me to get in during hard labor, so I freaked out. I was then told I was going to have to stay in the bed during my entire labor. To say I was unhappy is an understatement. So after going into the bathroom and crying for a good 10 minutes I put my head up, put my game face on, got changed and said "lets do this!" So, 17 hours and 6 minutes after getting the Pitocin started I had my beautiful baby girl Olivia Paige Emofern Ryan

The bleeding ended up being a placenta tear, and since I was induced I had post partum hemorrhaging and ended up getting a blood transfusion. So for the first two weeks or so I felt like a walking zombie because my hemaglobin dropped to 6. Its been almost 8 weeks since I've had her and it's been quite a journey. I can't fully say I enjoy being a mom 100%, I miss being a teenager, but she is the most amazing thing. Every day more and more of her personality comes out. She just began smiling and talking to me, and each little thing she does makes me smile. For those of you wondering her father still refuses to see her...

I've gone back to work full time so I don't get to see her as much as I was after I had her and am in the process of moving into an apartment. Things are rough, its never fun being a single parent but I have a lot of support from my family and the few friends I have.
I'll try to keep updating but life is just so busy busy busy! I will also include in this post a link to Olivias facebook album so you can see how much she has grown:]

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=103869&id=505198450&l=066130a3ba

Long time no update...

2009-05-14T17:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't posted on here in MONTHS. I utterly and completely unbelievably sorry. Haha, I'm not even sure if its important to anyone. I just feel bad though. Anyway, today I am 6 months and one day. Nothing too spontaneous has happened. I have overall gained about 13 pounds. The doctor said I'm where I should be but that she thinks I will gain another 30 pounds before the pregnancy is over. I personally think shes crazy lol. No but really shes been great.
So I decided on a water birth and I'm pretty sure its the right choice. I'm not taking any Lamaze classes but should be starting my breastfeeding classes relatively soon. I finally picked a name that I'm happy with; Josilyn Paige, and I think I'm going to call her Josie. Not Josey, but Josie like the girl from Never Been Kissed.
David still wants nothing to do with her. He says I ruined his chance of ever being happy. I obviously don't think that's true at all. I am in charge of no ones happiness but myself. I'm starting to get pretty tired again. I'm coming home and sleeping for about 3 hours on days I don't work. Omg, THREE people commented today about how my face is swollen. It makes me feel amazing! Lol. I'm waiting for my battery on my camera to finish charging and then I'll update some pics of my belly and if I'm feeling brave, my face!
I haven't seen much of my friends still. It seems like everyone has dispersed. Quite a few of my friends got into relationships so I don't really expect to ever see them. But I still admit its pretty hard. Quite a few of my friends call me and complain about their lives and then hang up as soon as they are done. Oh well I guess. Stephanie said I was just being a drama queen. I haven't been very aggressive during my pregnancy but I feel like that is beginning to change. I hate that.
School is almost out, I'm so ready. Graduation is June 6th. And then the following week on the 13th is the baby shower. I feel so unprepared haha. I know I'm unprepared. It blowwwssss. So my dad has been hiding out at my aunts house in Leitchfield Kentucky. I've seen him maybe two or three times throughout my whole pregnancy and I don't see that changing anytime soon. We have had a pretty rocky relationship due to the past and mistakes on his part. For the most part hes just very irresponsible and can't stand that the attention is on someone else other than him. A lot of my family on his side is like that though. They always ask for more and more. For Derby week my grandfather was going on his yearly fishing trip for four days and so my grandmother up and called me(who lives 30 minutes away when traffic isn't bad) and ask me to stay with her those four days and go to school and work and stay there every night. Its safe to say that didn't work out. Of course she lays the guilt trip on me.
I'm sorry I've got so much to complain about but I feel as if I get to tell it all to no one and even just writing/typing it out helps me a lot, whether someone reads it or not. blah, so how is everyone out there doing? I hope relatively well. Again, sorry for complaining so much just had to get it out.

*****UPDATE*****

Heres a few pics of the belly!

Emergency room visits and bed rest....

2009-02-24T13:29:00.000-08:00

So two Saturdays ago I was working and noticed I was spotting. I told my mom about it but since it wasn't bad and had stopped I let it go and went back to work. So that day I went home and was cramping like usual.

The following day, I was at work; serving and we were quite busy and noticed the same feeling as the day before... sure enough I was right and it was worse. So immediately I left work and went straight to the emergency room and went through a bunch of tests. After being there for 5 and a half hours my final diagnosis was threatened miscarriage and I was put on best rest for a week.

So after making a follow up appointment with my doctor I got in on Friday, and I also had an ultra sound at the hospital that day as well. The doctor put me on ANOTHER week of bed rest and cancelled my ultra sound because I had one at the emergency room. So here I am laying in bed cramping non stop. All I have to say is this child better love me to death and never cause any problems through its teenage years haha.

It was all pretty scary but I'm glad that I didn't miscarry. I was so unbelievably worried about that. The ultrasound was pretty cool though. The baby had both sides of its brain and a heart rate of 158. On top of everything in the past 3 days I've gained 10 pounds! Which is also very exciting because I'm roughly between 13 and 14 weeks and had in fact lost weigh until the other day. Anyways I just wanted to let everyone know why I hadn't updated. By the way, everyone wish Stephanie a happy birthday! Shes hitting the big 22 today!:-)

By the way, my doctor told me that the other doctor(Beth) that examined me was wrong about being 8-10 weeks because I was really around 11 weeks when she examined me and used the doppler and was told by my actual doctor that at 11 weeks your uterus is right behind your pelvic bone. so yay for that.!

early pregnancy

2009-02-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

Okay so here's the deal. Wednesday, I had my first appointment and they didn't do a physical exam. They asked me a bunch of questions and took some blood.

But today, I had my first physical exam. I know so far this post is just getting better right? Ha, well here's the downfall. I'm only about 8 or 9 weeks pregnant. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I guess I can look at it both ways and see that it has its downsides and upsides but now I'm totally freaking out. Since I have PCOS I have a 60% percent chance of not being able to carry it. So I'm pretty nervous now.

I so thought i was almost half way through it. Now I'm not. Blah I hate this. So my first ultrasound is next week. Ill let ya know exactly how far along I am.

My fat doesn't roll.

2009-02-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

So I haven't updated in a while so I decided I would, obviously considering I'm updating now. My appointment in which I should find out the sex is next Wednesday! I'm getting so excited. This pregnancy is going by so quickly.

Since I'm currently living at home my younger sister is switching me bedrooms so the baby and I can have the bigger one. I feel bad but not so much considering I gave her the bigger room in the first place when I was the oldest:-P

I saw a dietitian yesterday and she was worried because I'm gaining inches but not weight. I have in fact lost another 10 pounds. Whats wrong with me? I'm in my second trimester and don't even weigh what I did before I was pregnant. Here is a picture I took last night of my belly.

My mother said last night that before I got pregnant I just looked fat, and that now I'm starting to look pregnant. I was like thanks mom, thanks a lot. I have a feeling I'm going to have a big belly. I don't know if I like that fact. But I guess it happens.

The dietitian said I need to eat more but as it is, I feel like I'm going to explode. Maybe I don't appreciate pregnancy enough yet, but I really don't understand why anyone would want to do this over and over again.

By the way, I felt the first kicks in class on Monday. It was amazing and I felt good that whole day. But I haven't felt much since so I'm back to my sleeping routine. Blah, I wish the baby would kick again. I've added Naomi to my very short list of names but can think of a FIRST middle name to go with it. Any suggestions? I want the baby to have 4 names because my middle name is Emofern(pronounced emmafern) and my last name is Ryan. So because of the strange middle name and last name that's also a first name I have to be kind of picky. Someone help me out wit this please.

But for now I must gobecause I have to pee, again... Ill update soon!

Pregnancy and me

2009-01-25T12:06:00.000-08:00

So I've decided, with a lot of encouragement from my friend Stephanie, that I should start a blog. I've never been good with this sort of thing though, so work with me here. Im 18 years old and just a few weeks ago discovered I was pregnant. I had a feeling I was for quite a while but since I have something called polycystic ovarian syndrome(PCOS) I didn't think it was possible. But I guess I was a bit naive to believe I was cramping for over a month for a period I never got :-P

I have not been able to go to the doctor yet because I've been trying to figure out all of this insurance stuff out. My mother is helping as much as she can, but always has so much on her plate with a really busy schedule. I figure though, that I'm anywhere between 12 and 16 weeks. Here's a picture from two days ago...

Pregnancy and I just do not seem to mix. I've decided that after this pregnancy, I'm never doing it again. I love kids, but I never dreamed of having one of my own. I'm excited but still kind of nonchalant about it all.

Everyone is being really supportive. Before anyone asks though, the father is NOT in the picture right now and I honestly don't see him being in our lives any time at all in the near future.

The names I've picked out so far are Kayden Thomas and Savannah Paige. But they are not a sure thing.

By the way, my name is Audrey, I'm a senior in high school, and am currently enrolled in a CNA program that's helping me get certified in May.

But anyway, seeing as I have to spend a dreadful 6 hours at work , I must leave this post the way it is. I'm sorry its not more exciting but I wanted to hurry up and get it posted so Stephanie could put a link in her post.